Wooohoooo it’s 2011!! Obviously it’s not. Well it is for you but not for me. I’m writing this in mid December as these sort of things have to be written in advance for obvious reasons, none of which i can be bothered to go into.
I thought for the new year i might try out a few new looks. Dubstep prick b2b moustache isn’t really working for me any more and i think i need a change. I’ve noticed a few good looks on women recently. My current favourites are 1. Moody and foreign 2. Attractive and upset 3. Angry and poor. All strong looks for 2011 i think you will agree.
I think i’m gonna go for distant and sexy. Either that or rugged and vulnerable, both should do the trick in the knicker dropping department. I am yet to feel in any way christmasy although i can tell it’s December by the fact my shit has turned a deep black colour from the amount of red wine i’m consuming. Christmas is probably a distant memory to you lot now, all happily going about your business in the future like some crap episode of the Twilight Zone.
Something that occurred to me the other day is that apart from driving, there is almost no situation that i couldn’t easily get away with being pissy drunk in. All drunk and pissed up on booze. Swig faced, sloshed, cunted. It’s almost as if god is telling me to drink more. ‘Go on Will, have another class of the magic humour juice. You’re nothing without it. Think of all the wild adventures you and Mr Pint have had. Go on Will, have another’. Fine, if that’s your attitude i fucking will and you can deal with the consequences you fictional bearded twat.
I have decided my new year resolutions are 1. Not pissing in the sink when there is washing up in it. 2. Not to get drawn in by the bright lights of Morrisons rotisserie chicken as it’s dreadful, i know its dreadful and it will always be dreadful. 3. Smash the ever loving shit out of Mumdance’s face the next time i see him.