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I have just received this as a text message from a friend who will remain nameless.

“Weirdest dream involving you yet… I was being harrassed by a guy with poor hygiene wearing a tight child’s tshirt, who was selling fluffy pink cakes in a Japanese cafe in sydney st. You tried to save me by putting me on a lead and walking me round the block… But you had other ideas and bundled me into a doorway where Tinie Tempah was waiting. The pair of you started comedy snogging whilst Argus photographers took photos. The police turned up and arrested me. Then I woke up.”

The line ”But you had other ideas and bundled me into a doorway” is regularly used by people i know when recounting the more intimate moments of our friendship.

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